Move 26: Park It Anywhere

Parking is a problem for normal people, and as we've said over and over again: you're not one of the normal people, so act like it. This move is a cross between the Own-The-Road and a Car for All Occasions moves in that you need to have the right car and the right attitude. All the best designated parking places are aways already taken, and you shouldn't have to fight for those anyway.

The Park It Anywhere move is about making your own spot where no spot existed before, thus directly showing your power over the issues that vex the general public. The spot should be somewhere that does not make people think you are a jerk, like taking up two normal spots, the side of a handicap spot, or red zone in front of a fire hydrant. You don't want to piss people off, you just want them to see you do something that they can't or would never do. Good locations are large pedestrian squares, usually near a fountain or large sculpture, or any other venue where your Rolls Royce Ghost would look great during a photo-shoot for the cover of Automobile Quarterly.

You need the right car for this, as parking a beat-up Ford Fiesta on the lawn in front of The Club will not inspire any sort of head nodding. The response to this move should be a sense of awe, mixed with acceptance, and very little jealously. It's usually a good idea to make sure that the spot is on private property, so that if anyone dares question you, it will be handled by a manager who will quickly see the error of his ways. Double parking in busy downtown public thoroughfares is just a way to get the Police involved, and they are trained to believe that nobody is above the law -- don't waste your time or theirs; when out in a congested metropolis you shouldn't be driving anyway: your people drop you off, and roam around until it's time to come collect you and your purchases.